Yesterday I ran into a friend at the pastry shop. He’s my favourite cameraman and lighting guy and I haven’t seen him a while.
Just now, when I am in the middle of planning a shortfilm, he appears – out of the blue.
Last week I had an email from an old friend, offering me a ride to our meeting in two weeks, when I wanted to cancel because I didn’t know how to get there.
Since I started doing what I love, following my heart – most of the time – I experience this.
Today I was mailing with a 30 Day Challenge friend and found out that we both were on the same online Satsang last night – without knowing it. We both write poems and this is just the beginning.
I find more and more connections and the Universe showers me with these nice surprises to make my days more joyful.
Do you experience these “coincidences” too?
Today is Launch Day for my 30 Day Challenge project. I am excited to ship and a bit scared.
So many firsts: writing in English, poetry dialogues, sharing it with people I only met online.
My inner perfectionist is having a fit, she thinks we are not finished yet, it’s not good enough, and what if the others don’t like it?
Well, I promised to do this, so here we go:
This is were it all started
– and this is where it will end:
Mysterious? Yes. A group of people met 15 years ago to discuss movies and write screenplays. We wrote and shot some low-budget-films and somehow we drifted apart. This year we decided to meet again and create something new.
In April I discussed this idea with a friend and we went for a walk and ended up in the castle garden. I think of it as the place where the idea was present and it feels like a good place for poetry, a romantic contrast to the modern issues. The film brings these people together after a break of several years and they’ll talk in poems, because it’s more fun (and the writer -me – is a poet).
Of course old conflicts will come up, but to everyone’s surprise there may be an unexpected solution.
How this will exactly happen – well, the storyline is still changing and evolving – stay tuned.
The 30 Day Challenge is moving towards its last day and my project is still constantly changing and evolving.
I started out with the idea of making a shortfilm with poetry dialogues. The film is about a group of people who started in the 90ies meeting once each month to talk about screenplays and movies. This expanded and we did workshops on writing, camera and we made several no/very low-budget films over the years. Then it came to an end when people moved or lost interest.
We talked about meeting again for ages, and when some of us met for lunch in March I could feel the urge to create, to have fun and to write, act, shoot. In my personal life I felt stuck, because my creativity coaching ideas didn’t take off, until in April, discussing my situation with a friend, the idea for a shortfilm was born.
So I wrote about these five people getting together, four of the original players and no.5 a psychologist, who joined later and is often commenting on the dynamics in our group from his background.
While writing dialogue today it occured to me that this dialogue mirrors my inner dialogue, one of the guys has my Top Dog/inner critics voice, the other is my calm professional voice. This is the direct link to my coaching process, where I learned about Voice Dialogue and talking to your different personality parts.
So it looks as things start to fall into place, I can see clearly where I am heading. Now I think about making the film a bit more artistic using mirrors and effects. Maybe all voices are just inside and the outside is a dream, like the Hawaiian kahunas teach it?
Next Monday at 10 pm UK time is the deadline for the 30 Day Challenge.
It’s the day when we all will launch our results. It’s less than a week from now and I am feeling this mix of panic and excitement – deadline buzz.
I know it’s typical for me to start working like crazy, just before launch day. I know I need this pressure or a t least I believe it.
I could have done more each day, I admit I have been procrastinating a bit, knowing it would end in stress. I have to assure myself every day now,that I can really do it, I will launch a part fo my poetry shortfilm on Monday.
My project is to combine my poetry with my passion for filmmaking – and actually do a shortfilm, 5 to 8 minutes long, with a group of filmmaking friends.
And my head is buzzing with ideas and heavy from lack of sleep – I am wide awake most nights with new ideas, which I find fascinating.
On the other hand, this focus and putting my work out there brings up lots of old and limiting beliefs, the “will it be good enough”, “nobody needs my art” sort.
I need to be energized now and centered – breathing get me there, slow breaths, realxing my body, feeling the energy and doing what needs to be done.
Time to get out of hiding, time to work – Now!
For weeks now I have been procrastinating this: my very first blog post.
Any idea I came up with was nice, even good, but not perfect.
Taking part in the 30 Day Challenge I challenge myself today to write my very first post – here it is.
Why are we trying to be perfect? Is it a childhood memory when we were told we are not good enough? I remember telling my parents ideas and stories and always being rejected. I was told to grow up, not to have my “head in the clouds” – daydreaming was for artists, not for me. 30 odd years later I knew that I am an artist – and now I am ready to embrace it.
I write poems, I take pictures, I am currently planning a short film project – one step a day and I am making progress.
Yet it’s hard to see that when I look for the end product, for the perfect plan, the perfect screenplay, the perfect poem.
So today I choose to take the challenge and publish my thoughts. Perfect or not – here I am.