I noticed that I haven’t published here for more than two weeks now.
Life got in the way big time, that’s how it felt. Very much change going on, so I had to process it first and then try writing about it.
So, what happened?
The situation with my Mum and the house dis-solved and e-volved, decisions were made, she went to a hospital, is still treated, and will go to a retirement home after. The house will be emptied and ready to be sold later.
For me that brought a huge space, like I could finally breathe and relax after more than six months of being alert because of her sickness and not being able to work as much as I love, because she could barely help herself.
Feeling so much space was surprisingly strange – like I have been living constricted or in a box, having to think about many borders and restrictions.
Now I’m slowly getting used to the possibilities. It feels like freedom, not “Yay, freedom, yay” – but a feeling of expanding, of letting my energy flow fully, not holding back most of the time. I feel lighter and excited, able to try more things, to speak my truth more often and to let go.
I am so happy that we will – three years after Dad died – sell the house. Another weight lifting. None of us is willing to take care, renovate it or to invest – so it’s the obvious choice.
While my brother is the one here who’ll be out for the first time and looking for a place to buy, I am the one who wants less “stuff” in my life – the house has always been filled with too many things, my parents hoarding what could be of use one day. So I am going more minimalist, small apartment, enough space to feel good. Only the things I really need.
Like my laptop to write and share my stories with you.
There’s a lot more coming soon. Stay tuned.