Today is a day that was intended to try new things, write one or two poems, play with ideas for my coaching and writing business.
Instead I feel a bit overwhelmed and exhausted due to a situation at home, with my sick mother who refuses to see a doctor, refuses to get help and instead is yelling a me most of the time.
I work from home, so I am the one who has to deal with it, my brother is working shifts and away for 10 hours most days.
I started to look for solutions, while I am working on my business, on my book. I have a GP’s phone number should it get worse. Yet I feel stuck and overwhelmed today.
I feel exhausted and wish the situation would dissolve easier and more elegant somehow. I know that I am not responsible for my Mum, she’s not senile, she is completely clear. Yet it feels like I need a pause, a time-out from this situation.
So I sit, hand on my chest, breathing in and out for five or more minutes. Not feeling guilty – just taking a time-out. Slowly I start to feel calmer and to relax a bit. I start to remember that everything will work out somehow.
That I am not responsible for another person’s decisions and for their health or housing situation.
I do this whenever I think of it and I know it helps me to get through today and all the days to come.
P.S. I don’t usually write about my situation with Mum, but today is one of the days when I can no longer keep it inside.