Are You Living in a Box?

Or in several of them? And what do I even mean by that?

When we are very young, as children before going to school, mostly before the age of four or five I’d guess, we experience life without limits, full of possibilities. We are curious to try as many things as we think will be fun and bring us joy.

At a certain time our parents, well-meaning and not knowing otherwise, will start to comment on our behaviour and our actions, to teach us, what’s acceptable in society and how to best fit in.

‘So let’s say for example you try a new dance move because you love dancing so much, and you fall over because your pirouette didn’t work out – “oh, you’ll never be much of a dancer” – and you’ll never even try again.Or let’s say, later in school, you want to join the choir and the teacher tells you, you have to sing in front of the class and a song she chooses – you are six or seven, wearing glasses, shy, but with this love for songs, and you are very nervous – so you don’t get it 100% right and after the first tune your teacher tells you: “oh you don’t get it, you can’t sing, stop”. Does that sound familiar?  Imagine then telling our Mum after school, how unfair that was and how you still want to sing – and you Mum (who happens to be a teacher) tells you, that your teacher is completely right, you can’t get the tunes right, did you not know that? So you bury your wish very deep, only singing when you are alone, so nobody can listen.

It can also happen when you are really good at something and enjoying it – “oh, don’t be such a show-off” – another talent buried.

To fit into your box, you have to be small(er), because as a child you were far too big for any box.

Open our box

Every time you cut something off, to fit in, you allow your parents and society to define you. You may have a box with several rooms, or a large one – so you can’t even see it is a box. Maybe you have several small boxes and roles – so perfect that you fit in everywhere. People may love you, but how do you really feel?

Are you so used to people pleasing and fitting in that you don’t mind? Or is there this nagging feeling that something is missing, that there once was more to life than just the things you do now?

In the last case, your inner child is trying to make you see how many possibilities and experiences you have denied yourself. S/he wants you to know that you can change it, that you are allowed to enjoy all of life, all of your talents and that you can start looking at them and un-box yourself in small steps.

I’ll share with you more about that in the following posts. I even managed to sing again, solo, and reclaim my beautiful voice. It took me 30 years, but boy, was it worth it!

Stay tuned for more….or share your box(es) with us.

P.S. the only box that does not count here is the Tardis – it’s bigger on the inside (sorry, could not resist..)

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