I’ve been a bit quiet for the last two days – I have started a journey inwards with a group of people. It’s lead by the fabulous Jamie Catto and the amazing Lisa Larn – we are a group of people willing to go deeper, to explore our shadows and learn tools to deal with our lives and the people around us. In a new way, so we are not triggered that much,so we don’t have that much drama in our lives. At least that’s the idea.
It looks like easy stuff first, the ideas, the exercises feel good, but: the digging and looking at parts of yourself, that you did not know where still here or disowned, take energy.
I need a lot more sleep right now. I am willing to do the work – and I know I can do it.
Like with all inner work, like Huna, like Taoist healing, my body processes it and I know I need to be kind and gentle to myself. No pushing, just sitting with the feelings, embracing them, loving them.
This alone helps – and it sounds way easier than it is. We are so trained to do stuff, to work, to always move around – at least I was raised that way. Sitting there and listening was not encouraged. I was often called “daydreamer” or that I would build a castle in the clouds, which sounded beautiful to me as a kid, but was no compliment at all.
In business it’s a No Go, too. You have to be visible, produce endless content and go live on Facebook, because obviously that’s what everybody does, hustling and producing content and sending three emails each day, so your people will not forget you – how exhausting and annoying. I decided I need space and time right now, quiet time.
I am doing it again, sitting, listening – and writing. And it feels so right.
Because writing is my tool for change – and a writer often sits and listens, before she puts on paper what is coming through.
We need to be a vessel, be empty, when we are writing, because only then we are writing what we are meant to write, not what we think we should.