Today I thought about how I learned to love being weird. Being the odd one out.
Wearing bright colours, like my candy-striped Mac or pink from head to toe.
Being weird in not being career-oriented or having a traditional family with hubby and children, a house and a bugb car. Okay, that’s cliché anyway – still I know a lot of people, who are living that “dream”…
It was never my dream. When I was younger I thought I should have all of that, too.
I made other people’s expectations and dreams my own – of course it did not work out.
It was hard, because I tried to make it work for me, in my twenties and early thirties.
I worked on relationships that just sucked (my energy out…), I tried to get a decent job, I didn’t want to, I hated the 9 to 5…did what I was told anyway.
And I was told I had to fit in, that nobody loves their jobs, life is hard and so on.
I tried, and one day I just stopped and took a step back. I was coached by a friend and he told be that I was a born coach and artist, there was no way I could hide it from him. So I stopped hiding and looked inside.
I started writing, poems, blog posts, book proposals, screenplays….I started to play around. I learned how to draw – after ages of being told that I couldn’t (I highly recommend “Drawing on the right side of the brain” from Betty Edwards).
I took singing lessons. I went to workshops to learn Prana Healing and Huna, the Hawaiian art of shamanism. I felt so free and had much more joy in my life.
I meditated a lot and had some “good-enough-jobs” – they helped pay the bills, work was easy and just for a certain time.
I trained as a life coach and even in this group I was the weird one – the difference was: they loved me that way. So I could open a bit more – and over the years – I’m fifty-two now – I accepted my weirdness and started to love and celebrate it.
Thanks to the internet and social media I noticed more weird people – I found my “tribe”, I got noticed and supported – and right now I am working on being even more visible in my weirdness, so others can see me and I can support them by being a “permission slip” (as Jamie Catto calls it in his book Insanely Gifted, which I also highly recommend) so those around me can enjoy their weirdness.
I also met Stephen Russell, the Barefoot Doctor, on my way and learned a lot from him, about being me and handling life with all the challenges it brings. About being in my body and loving the ride, enjoying the adventure. So, if you want a bit of this energy, too, you can find him here.
I’m still learning new things about me every day – my inner artist has the idea that I should try painting, which is really scary for me. Because my teacher never loved my pictures. But then, I could paint some crazy colourful things, couldn’t I?
I ‘m still leaning to listen to my inner artist and look after her – it’s the journey of a lifetime. Guess what: I love it!!!
What do you love about yourself – please share and comment.