Strong feelings

…and how to handle them with love.


Last week I took part in the Authentically You challenge, a women coaching group, and as part of it we had one assignment per day. Day 4 was all about getting feedback from someone else in the group. A process I usually love, because I learn so much.

There were lots of interesting women, artists, coaches….so I choose a painter and her feedback hit me to the core. After reading it I started getting angry, then crying – all the while having a lump in my heart center and in my solarplexus.

I had stuff to do – but I could not move. I was totally blocked. I felt hurt by someone whom I didn’t even know, nor did she know me. Yet I somehow knew this feeling was old, had nothing to do with her.

Whatever my mind told me to get better didn’t work. I felt bad, I started crying again – until I remembered something I had read in a book, a technique where you stay with your feelings.

You don’t run, you don’t do something else like surfing the web or going to the fridge – you just stay with this feeling.

So I sat with it, breathing slowly, letting the tears  come and go, asking questions like

  • where is it in my body?
  • what colour is it?
  • what sound is it ?

and telling my body, it’s okay to feel that. I love to feel that.

Slowly the feeling dissolved, the lumps in my body were gone. It only took five minutes and my willingness.

By allowing my feelings, by giving them space, by loving what is right now – even if it felt so un-comfortable, they could dissolve.

Yes, it is hard at first, the not running, not doing something  else to not feel – but I believe it’s worth it. It’s a way to be whole again.

For me it’s a new adventure – feeling, loving, being.

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