At the moment I am in such a deep mode of letting go, I forgot to post yesterday. So you’ll get two posts on another day, surprise, surprise.
Meaning I could not write, I first had so structure what was going on, what is still going on. I also needed lots of sleep, rest, meditation.
Most of the times in my life I was forced into letting go ( I wanted to hold onto things or people like crazy)
- when a relationship ended and my partner broke up
- when a family member or friend died, mostly very unexpectedly
- when I was fired (or let go as they called it)
- when I tried to stay in a circle of friends where I didn’t feel like me anymore
- and so on, you know what I mean?
I remember that my parents always told me to fight – never run away, never leave without a fight. From their personal history (Dad’s father died fighting in the resistance against the Nazis) it made perfect sense – for them. They told me what they had learned.
So I fought, I held on to situations, like my job in IT, where I had great co-workers, yes, but didn’t get along with my new boss. She had tried to get rid of me for some months, and I didn’t want to leave. I was shocked when I had no other choice left.
I asked one of my friends, a shaman, to help – guess what she told me?
She asked me why I wanted to stay in a place and situation where I was not wanted – why did I waste so much energy fighting it? Why didn’t I just go with the flow?
I could see she was right – I wanted this flow she spoke of – there was a lot of resistance to deal with. I had yet to learn how to let my body, my soul trust this flow.
Ending relationships, leaving, breaking up – easy when I wanted out, hard when he quit. I survived, I ‘ve learned a lot about myself – to find out that I wanted freedom, something unusual, openness, not easy if you come from a family where the woman tries to control her man, not realizing she married a guy you can’t control, independent, travelling, not the family guy she wanted.
Over the years I could see what happened with my parents, the control, the fights – I felt that letting go when you need to is the way. Love might not end, maybe the relatioship has to for both to be their true selves.
These are two examples, my own experience, there’s more, a lot more I am sure.
At the moment I am learning, trying not to develop solutions, to manipulate them my way – instead of letting the Tao (you can call it God if you like or Universe) help me.
I am learning to trust, to let go of the expected outcome, to remain open, to stay in the flow.
At the moment it is my financial situation, having started a new business, lots of old bills catching up, not (yet) enough money coming in.
Years ago I would have been in panic mode, sleepless, my mind racing, not able to eat – now I am using my Taoist practice to help me, to let go and rest in the arms of the Tao, to do the work – without the need to figure out the hows.
I don’t know how or when it will resolve, I know deep down it will work out in ways I couldn’t think of, in the most elegant way. I trust – it works.
What is it you need to let go – now? How does it feel?
Feel free to comment or ask. I’ll feel free to share my techniques with you soon.