Today I feel torn between going out and to a big birthday celebration, for which I prepared a special gift, and needing time alone, doing what I really want to do, which is writing.
I haven’t been writing much during September and I feel grumpy.
I am angry at myself.
I know many people who’ll come tonight to the party and I know it could be fun, maybe. The main point is that I have to go 90 minutes each way by public transport and I feel tired thinking of it. I’d have to leave early to catch the last train.
I am angry because of the things I’d get done in these 3 hours.
Time is precious right now, because I have a job where I need to focus, especially during the training weeks.
I am thinking about arguments to get myself to the party and now I know something is off.
So I check in with my body, to release that tension and to feel what decision serves me best.
That makes it very clear and easy, my body relaxed immediately when I thought of a cozy weekend at home – so I will do this.
I feel better now – my body always tells the truth. It’s my job to listen and act accordingly.